Perfectionism: signs, types, a self-check and how to ease it

CareOps editorial team · October 28, 2026 · 9 min read

Mental wellness information and service guidance published by CareOps.

You finish a task and still don't feel relieved. Someone praises your work and you think, “It's still not good enough.” You reread a short email several times, and one small mistake stays with you all day. Perfectionism is neither a flaw that must be removed nor a strength to be proud of. Separating the kind that pushes you forward from the kind that holds you back makes it easier to work with.

What is perfectionism? #

Perfectionism is a tendency to want flawless results, set very high standards and judge yourself against them. It is not a diagnosis but a personality trait that everyone has to some degree. What matters is less how high the standards are and more how you treat yourself when you fall short of them.

Reviewing the research, Stoeber and Otto (2006) described an approach that splits perfectionism into two dimensions. Perfectionistic strivings, the pursuit of high standards, were linked with positive characteristics, and they concluded that striving directed at yourself can be positive as long as you are not overly worried about mistakes and others' negative judgments. Perfectionistic concerns, by contrast, involve fearing mistakes, feeling that you fall short and depending on others' evaluations.

Three types of perfectionism #

Hewitt and Flett (1991) divided perfectionism into three types according to whom the demand for perfection is aimed at. One person can have all three.

• Self-oriented perfectionism: you demand perfection of yourself. “This isn't good enough” sounds like your own voice.
• Other-oriented perfectionism: you expect perfection from others. You find it hard to delegate, and other people's mistakes bother you a lot.
• Socially prescribed perfectionism: you feel that others demand perfection of you. The thought “Everyone will be disappointed if I slip up” follows you around.

A study pooling data from 41,641 university students in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom between 1989 and 2016 (Curran & Hill, 2019) found that all three types rose steadily, and the largest increase was in the sense that others demand more of you. One way to read this is that perfectionism is tied not only to personal stubbornness but also to environments full of comparison and evaluation.

Eight common signs of perfectionism #

These patterns often show up when perfectionistic concerns are high. Recognizing a few does not mean something is wrong; the list is a way to see where your perfectionism is costing you.

• Your standards rise once you reach them. After succeeding, you think “That was nothing” and set the bar higher.
• Satisfaction after finishing is brief. One disappointing spot lingers longer than everything that went well.
• You dwell on mistakes. A small slip spreads into the conclusion “I'm not good enough.”
• Checking and revising are hard to stop. You reopen emails you've sent and keep editing work that is already done.
• You can't hand things off. You expect others' work to fall short, so you end up doing it all yourself.
• You discount praise. You brush it off with “I got lucky” or “Anyone could do this.”
• Rest doesn't feel restful. Unfinished tasks stay on your mind.
• You put off starting when you aren't sure you'll do well.

The first pattern matches Shafran and colleagues' (2002) description of clinical perfectionism: falling short brings self-criticism, and reaching a standard leads to deciding it wasn't demanding enough, so there is never room to feel satisfied. If, as in the last pattern, needing to do well makes it hard to start at all, our article on the lazy perfectionist explains how perfectionism turns into procrastination. If trying to pick the best option makes even small choices drag on, see indecisiveness and how to stop.

Perfectionism, burnout, anxiety and depression #

A meta-analysis of 43 studies with 9,838 people (Hill & Curran, 2016) found that perfectionistic strivings had little or a slightly negative relationship with burnout, whereas perfectionistic concerns went along with burnout to a medium-to-large degree. In work settings, the concerns side was sometimes even more harmful. If you're exhausted but can't let go of work, also see burnout signs.

Another meta-analysis of 284 studies (Limburg et al., 2017) reported that both dimensions of perfectionism are associated with a range of difficulties, including depression, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive symptoms and eating problems. A meta-analysis on self-esteem (Khossousi et al., 2024, 32,304 people) found a clear link between stronger perfectionistic concerns and lower self-esteem (r = −.42), while strivings were barely related to self-esteem (r = .06). These figures describe how often things occur together, not that perfectionism causes these difficulties.

Easing perfectionism: five steps from CBT #

A meta-analysis of eight studies on psychological interventions for perfectionism (Lloyd et al., 2015) found large reductions in perfectionism scores and medium reductions in anxiety and depression symptoms after the interventions. The researchers concluded there is some evidence that perfectionism can be reduced. The steps below adapt CBT methods for everyday use.

1. List the costs and benefits: write down what your high standards have given you alongside the time, sleep and relationships they have cost. It becomes clearer what you want to keep and what you want to reduce.
2. Separate results from your worth: write “This report has weak spots” and “I am inadequate” as two separate sentences. The first can be fixed; the second is a verdict.
3. Run a “good enough” experiment: pick one low-stakes task and finish it with less polishing than usual. Before you do, write down what you expect to happen, and afterward compare it with what actually happened.
4. Set limits on checking and revising: decide in advance where to stop, such as “reread once” or “send after 20 minutes.” It may feel uncomfortable at first, but cutting back on checking lets you see what actually happens when you do.
5. Change what you say to yourself after a mistake: say to yourself what you would say to a friend who made the same mistake. Our article on self-esteem and self-compassion covers this practice in more detail.

The third step is a behavioral experiment from CBT. Here is a fictional example.

You can also record the prediction and the outcome separately in our thought reflection worksheet. For perfectionism that flares up near deadlines, see perfectionism before a deadline.

Perfectionism test: which side does yours lean toward? #

The CareOps perfectionism check is an eight-item questionnaire based on the SAPS developed by Rice and colleagues (2014). It shows “high standards” and “feeling that you fall short” as separate scores, so you can see whether your perfectionism pushes you forward or holds you back. You can take it right away, with no login.

If you want to keep your standards but ease up on yourself #

CareOps Maeumi is an AI counseling app that runs sessions using therapy approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Together you can look at the thoughts that come up after a mistake, choose small practices such as a “good enough” experiment, and pick up how it went in the next session. Get the app

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