Why perfectionism can make it hard to get started
CareOps editorial team · · 6 min read
General information and service guidance published by CareOps. This is not an individual diagnosis or treatment plan.
Translated from our Korean guide. Korean public services, insurance, and helpline numbers refer to South Korea. For urgent help elsewhere, contact local emergency services or a crisis line in your country.
I have the perfect result in my head, but my hands don't move. I collected the data for several days, revised the first sentence ten times, and then closed the window. It's not because I'm lazy. The higher the standards, the heavier the start.
At a glance
- ‘Lazy perfectionist’ is not a diagnosis, but refers to a person who has high standards but puts off starting because they are afraid of failure.
- Research separates two aspects of perfectionism: high standards tend to relate to less procrastination, while worry about falling short relates to more procrastination.
- So the solution is not to throw away the standards, but to separate the standards for results from the evaluation of myself.
lazy perfectionist meaning
Lazy perfectionist is not a psychological term, but a word that arises from everyday life. It refers to a person who has a great desire to do something perfectly, but is unable to start or finish because of that very desire. On the outside, I look lazy because I'm procrastinating, but on the inside, I'm thinking about it more than anyone else.
Traits of a lazy perfectionist
- You can't start until you're ready. It just takes time to research data and make a plan.
- Keep revising the first part. Time flies in the first sentence, first page, and first slide.
- I do it right before the deadline. The reason that remains is 'I don't have time.'
- I would rather not pay at all than pay half way. I hate showing 80 points more than giving 0 points.
- I feel like one small mistake ruins the whole thing.
- I don't feel at ease even while I'm resting. I can't get my mind to think about what I have to do.
There are also hidden benefits to putting it off until the last minute. Even if the results are bad, you can say, ‘It wasn’t a lack of skill, it was a lack of time.’ It's a way to protect my own evaluation, but at the cost of losing the opportunity to use my skills to the fullest.
Perfectionism has two faces
Psychological research doesn't lump perfectionism together. It is broadly divided into two branches.
| High standards: striving | Perfectionistic concerns | |
|---|---|---|
| Inner message | I want to do this well | If I fall short, I am inadequate |
| After a mistake | Disappointed, but ready to improve next time | Prolonged self-criticism and avoidance of another attempt |
| Relationship to delay | Associated with less procrastination | Associated with more procrastination |
| Feelings afterward | Accomplishment | Anxiety and shame |
In a 2017 meta-analysis (Sirois et al.) that compiled and analyzed studies on the relationship between procrastination and perfectionism, high standards were related to procrastination in the opposite direction (r=−.22), and worry about ‘not meeting standards’ was related to procrastination in the same direction (r=.23). The problem is not the height of the standard, but the attitude toward the distance between the standard and me.
Why does perfectionism lead to procrastination?
- The standards are high, and the results are my value. There is an equation that says, ‘If I don’t do well, I am inadequate.’
- The moment I try to start, I feel anxious. Because starting means that I may be evaluated soon.
- When you procrastinate, anxiety goes away for a moment. This relief makes procrastination a habit.
- As time goes by, the results fall short of the standard. ‘I can’t do this as expected’ is confirmed, and the next start becomes even heavier.
The fact that procrastination is a way to avoid emotions was discussed in more detail in Procrastination Habit Article.
Five ways to loosen the perfectionism–procrastination cycle
1. Name it ‘Draft’ from the beginning.
Try saving the file name as ‘Report_Draft_It’s OK to Mess’. It is a device that changes the goal of the first version from ‘write well’ to ‘fill to the end’. Fixing it is much easier than a blank screen.
2. Set the end standard first
There is no end to perfection, so if you don't set an end, you will keep holding on to it. Write down where you want to stop before you start, such as ‘Only for 40 minutes’, ‘Only fix it three times’, or ‘Once you get these three, you’re done’.
3. Show once at 70%
Show it to someone you trust before you feel it's done, and write down your expectations of 'what reaction you think you'll get' before showing it. When you compare it to the actual reaction, you realize how harsh your expectations were. This is a behavioral experiment used in cognitive behavioral therapy.
4. Change the sentence after the mistake
“I am pathetic” judges you as a person; “This part of my work fell short this time” evaluates a specific result. Use the second kind of sentence, because it points to something you can change. Explore this in our self-esteem and self-compassion guide.
5. Grading the process, not the outcome
Instead of ‘completion’, your goal for today is ‘Have you sat down for 25 minutes?’ If you set your standards on what you can control, you can start with high standards.
I'm not the only one like this
In a study that analyzed data from 41,641 college students in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom from 1989 to 2016 (Curran & Hill, 2019), perfectionism steadily increased across generations. In particular, the feeling that ‘others demand perfection from me’ has increased the most. In an environment where comparison and evaluation have become routine, perfectionism is more of a pressure of the times than a personal flaw.
When it's difficult to handle alone
If perfectionism is intertwined with eating problems, deep depression, severe anxiety, or if self-criticism after mistakes persists for days, consider addressing them together in counseling.
Which side is my perfectionism?
The Perfectionism Test (SAPS) consists of eight questions, divided into two categories: ‘high standards’ and ‘feelings of falling short of standards.’ Find out whether your perfectionism is pushing you or holding you back without logging in.
Try a self-assessment without signing inSAPS · PerfectionismDistinguish high standards from feeling that you fall shortStart the check →Frequently asked questions
- Are lazy perfectionists a specific MBTI type?
- There is no research evidence linking it to a specific MBTI type. Perfectionism and procrastination have more to do with ‘how you accept failure’ than with the type. If you want to look at personality in more detail, read Differences between MBTI and Big 5.
- Does perfectionism need to be fixed?
- There is no need to change the high standards themselves. What we need to look at is the way they push themselves when they don't meet their standards. The key is to practice setting standards and separating your values from the results.
- Are perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder the same?
- It's different. Perfectionism is a matter of high standards and self-evaluation, while OCD is a condition in which unwanted thoughts and repetitive behaviors that are difficult to stop interfere with daily life. If you find it difficult to stop checking or organizing, please refer to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Symptoms Article.
Sources
- Sirois, Molnar & Hirsch (2017), A Meta-Analytic and Conceptual Update on the Associations between Procrastination and Multidimensional Perfectionism, European Journal of Personality
- Rice, Richardson & Tueller (2014), The Short Form of the Revised Almost Perfect Scale, Journal of Personality Assessment
- Curran & Hill (2019), Perfectionism is increasing over time, Psychological Bulletin
- Shafran, Cooper & Fairburn (2002), Clinical perfectionism: a cognitive-behavioural analysis, Behaviour Research and Therapy
This article provides general information, not diagnosis or treatment. For urgent help, contact local emergency services or a crisis line in your country. In South Korea, the suicide prevention helpline is 109 (24 hours), and the mental health crisis line is 1577-0199.