Sort out your thoughts

Pick one moment, rather than trying to explain your whole day. This is a space to separate what happened from the meaning you gave it, without forcing a positive answer.

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1.What happened?

Describe when, where and what happened before guessing anyone else's intentions.

See an example

I sent a message at lunchtime and had not received a reply by the evening.

2.What went through your mind?

Write the sentence as it appeared. You can notice a thought without treating it as a confirmed fact.

See an example

Maybe I said something wrong yesterday and they are avoiding me.

3.Feelings and physical reactions

Choose a word that fits, such as hurt, worried or tense. If words are difficult, start with what you noticed in your body.

See an example

I felt hurt and anxious. I kept reaching for my phone.

4.What is still unknown?

What would you need to check? Leave room for uncertainty instead of trying to replace the thought with an upbeat one.

See an example

I don't know what their day has been like, or why they haven't replied.

5.One small next step

Choose something you can do and recognize as finished.

See an example

I'll eat dinner before checking again. If our plans are time-sensitive, I'll ask one clear question about timing.

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Sort out your thoughts

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