Work stress relief: what to try when you dread going to work
CareOps editorial team · · 8 min read
Mental wellness information and service guidance published by CareOps.
About the CareOps editorial team
The CareOps editorial team publishes these guides. Sources are linked at the end of each article; examples are illustrative, not customer stories. Product descriptions refer to CareOps Maeumi. Publication and revision dates appear above.
Read our full editorial standards →Sometimes the first thought when the alarm goes off is “do I really have to go today?” Monday worries fill the weekend, and work stays in your head after you leave. Work stress is not a sign that you are weak; it builds up when the demands of a job and your chances to recover fall out of balance. Here is why it accumulates, what to try on a morning when you dread going in, and what to change over the longer run.
At a glance
- Work stress tends to build when demands are high but you have little say in how the work is done, or when the effort you put in is not matched by what you get back.
- On mornings you dread going to work, narrow it down to the one moment you are dreading and the first thing you will do when you arrive.
- Relief centers on time when your mind is genuinely off work, a conversation about workload, and activities that actually restore you. If harassment is the cause, keeping records and getting support come first.
Why does work stress build up?
Two well-known theories explain work stress. Sociologist Robert Karasek's (1979) job demands–control model holds that strain rises when the demands of a job are high and your latitude to decide how to do it is low. Medical sociologist Johannes Siegrist's (1996) effort–reward imbalance model holds that harmful strain develops when high effort is not matched by rewards such as pay, recognition or security. Both explain stress less as a matter of personality and more as a mismatch between the conditions of the work and the person doing it.
| Model | When strain grows | A question to ask about your job |
|---|---|---|
| Job demands–control (Karasek, 1979) | High demands with little say over how the work is done | Which deadlines, priorities or methods can I actually decide? |
| Effort–reward imbalance (Siegrist, 1996) | High effort with too little pay, recognition or security in return | Which parts of my effort go unseen? |
Looking at it this way can loosen the thought “I'm just bad at working life.” Conditions you can change are worth discussing, and conditions you can't change right now are a signal that recovery after work needs more attention.
What to try on a morning when you dread going to work
The dread usually grows when the whole day arrives in your head at once. On that morning, rather than trying to change how you feel, break the path to work into smaller pieces.
- Write down the one moment you dread most: not “work” but “when I'm asked for an update at the 10 a.m. meeting.”
- Prepare one opening sentence for that moment: “Here's where it stands, and I'll confirm this part by this afternoon” is enough.
- Choose the first thing you will do at work: not your whole inbox, just the shortest task you can finish.
- Start with your body: washing, a glass of water, getting dressed, in an order you can follow without thinking.
- Pick one thing to look forward to after work: a favorite meal or a short walk, something you can do however the day goes.
If the dread starts on Sunday evening, our guide to Sunday evening dread shows how to prepare just the first moment of Monday. If mornings like this have continued every day for weeks, it may be time to look at the conditions of the work or your own state rather than one day's mood.
Work stress relief: building a boundary between work and recovery
Psychologists Sabine Sonnentag and Charlotte Fritz (2007) described four recovery experiences: psychological detachment from work, relaxation, mastery (learning or taking on something new) and control over how you spend your free time. The approaches below bring those four into everyday life. What works differs from person to person, so try one at a time and keep what fits.
- Write a three-line closing note: current status, what you're waiting on and tomorrow's first step, so you don't have to keep replaying work to remember it.
- Set a rule for checking messages: find out which contacts genuinely need an after-hours response and hold the rest until working hours.
- Discuss workload in specifics: instead of “I have too much,” prepare a priority question like “A and B overlap this week. Which should come first?”
- Make room for your body to rest: add one tension-releasing activity in the evening, such as a walk, stretching or a warm shower.
- Take on one small challenge unrelated to work: cooking, exercise or an instrument, something that gives a sense of accomplishment outside your job.
For more on closing notes, see can't switch off after work, and for ways to release physical and mental tension, see ways to relieve stress. If much of the stress comes from your relationship with a manager or coworkers, read relationship stress as well.
How is work stress different from burnout?
Work stress is the way your body and mind respond to the load of a job, so it often eases when the load lightens or you rest well. The World Health Organization describes burnout as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. If rest no longer restores your energy, you feel cold and distant toward your work, and your sense of doing it well has faded, look at the signs of burnout. If you are already worn out, burnout recovery lays out where to begin.
When work stress makes you think about quitting
Thinking about quitting is not unusual. But when you are exhausted or angry, everything tends to look one-sided. Rather than rushing the decision, write down what is hardest (workload, people, meaning, reward), which of those could change within your current job, and what you would need if you left. Leaving a job is a big decision tied to the rest of your life, so it helps to weigh it slowly with someone you trust and, if needed, a professional.
If harassment is the cause, don't treat it as stress management alone
If the cause is something other people are doing to you, such as repeated verbal abuse, exclusion or being deliberately cut out of work, it is not a problem of handling stress better. In South Korea, the Labor Standards Act (Article 76-2) prohibits workplace harassment. Note down by date when, where, who and what was said or done, along with anyone who was present, and keep messages and emails. Finding places where you don't have to carry it alone, such as a trusted coworker, the responsible department at your company or a labor counseling service, comes first.
When a psychiatrist or counselor can help with work stress
If your sleep has been disrupted for weeks, you feel physically unwell or short of breath before going to work, or a low mood has spread into life outside work, talk with a mental health professional. Whether a diagnosis or medication is needed is decided with a doctor, and counseling can continue alongside medical care. If you are worried about records, see does a psychiatry visit stay on your record.
How stressed am I right now? The PSS-10 stress check
The Perceived Stress Scale (PSS), developed by Cohen and colleagues (1983), asks how unpredictable and overwhelming life has felt over the past month. The CareOps PSS-10 stress check shows your result right away, with no login.
Try a self-assessment without signing inPerceived stress (PSS-10)How overwhelming or hard to manage life feels. Answer the app’s questionnaire and see your result right away.Start the check →When to talk to a professional
If the thought of work is shaking your daily life, or the strain turns into thoughts of wanting to disappear, don't try to sort it out alone. Talk with a mental health professional.
If you want to work through work stress step by step with someone
When you sort things out alone, the same worries tend to come back. CareOps Maeumi is an AI counseling app that runs sessions with approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and behavioral activation (BA), remembers past sessions so you can pick up where you left off, and helps you choose one small thing to try before the next session. Get the app
Frequently asked questions
- Which work stress relief can I try today?
- When you leave, write three lines: current status, what you're waiting on and tomorrow's first step. Then add one tension-releasing activity in the evening, such as a walk or stretching. See can't switch off after work for details.
- Is there a way to get through days when I don't want to go to work?
- Rather than bracing for the whole day, choose one moment you dread, one sentence for that moment and one first task at work. If these mornings have continued every day for weeks, it may be time to look at the conditions of the work or your own state.
- Is it okay to see a psychiatrist for work stress?
- Yes. If work stress has affected your sleep, eating, mood or daily life for weeks, you can talk with a mental health professional. Whether a diagnosis or medication is needed is decided with a doctor.
- Should I quit my job because of work stress?
- There is no single answer. Write down what is hardest, which parts could change within your current job and what you would need if you left, then weigh it slowly with someone you trust or a professional.
- Are work stress and burnout the same thing?
- Not quite. Work stress is a response to the load of a job, while the World Health Organization describes burnout as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. See the signs of burnout for the difference.
Sources
- Karasek (1979), Job Demands, Job Decision Latitude, and Mental Strain: Implications for Job Redesign, Administrative Science Quarterly
- Siegrist (1996), Adverse health effects of high-effort/low-reward conditions, Journal of Occupational Health Psychology
- Sonnentag & Fritz (2007), The Recovery Experience Questionnaire, Journal of Occupational Health Psychology
- Cohen, Kamarck & Mermelstein (1983), A Global Measure of Perceived Stress, Journal of Health and Social Behavior
- WHO — Burn-out an "occupational phenomenon": International Classification of Diseases (2019)
- NHS — Work-related stress
- APA — Coping with stress at work
This guide shares mental wellness information. If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services where you are. Support and contact information.