How to build resilience: what it is, a test and five steps
CareOps editorial team · · 5 min read
Mental wellness information and service guidance published by CareOps.
About the CareOps editorial team
The CareOps editorial team publishes these guides. Sources are linked at the end of each article; examples are illustrative, not customer stories. Product descriptions refer to CareOps Maeumi. Publication and revision dates appear above.
Read our full editorial standards →Two people go through the same thing: one shakes it off quickly, and the other stays down for a long time. That difference is often called resilience. Resilience is not an iron mind you are born with. It is an ordinary strength you can build with practice.
At a glance
- Resilience is the ability to return to your usual self after something hard. It is less about not feeling stress and more about recovering afterwards.
- Researchers see resilience as a common strength, not something only special people have. It comes from ordinary things like relationships, rest and ways of thinking.
- In randomized trials, CBT- and mindfulness-based practices increased resilience. Start by checking where you are with the resilience test.
What is resilience?
Resilience originally describes how a material springs back to its shape after being pressed. For the mind, it means the strength to get back up after setbacks such as failure, loss or conflict. Smith et al. (2008), who created the Brief Resilience Scale (BRS), argued that of the many meanings of resilience, ‘the ability to recover from stress’ is closest to the original one.
So high resilience does not mean hard things leave you untouched. Even if you hurt and wobble just as much, it means you return to daily life more quickly afterwards. Crying, resting and asking for help are all part of recovering.
Are people born resilient?
Reviewing long-term studies of children growing up in adversity, Masten (2001) named the ordinariness of resilience as the most surprising conclusion. Resilience is not rare or reserved for exceptional people; it is common and comes from the ordinary adaptive strengths people already have. The article is titled ‘Ordinary magic’.
This also means resilience can change. If recovery feels slow right now, it does not mean you are lacking; the supports that help you recover may simply be weaker for a while.
| Support | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Relationships | There is at least one person you can talk to when things are hard |
| Body | Your sleep, meals and movement have not fallen apart |
| Thinking | You can see a setback as ‘a hard time now’ rather than ‘everything is over’ |
| Meaning | You have a reason to keep going or something you want to protect |
What can a resilience test tell me?
The Brief Resilience Scale (BRS) uses six questions to ask how quickly you recover after hard times. What sets it apart is that it asks about recovery itself rather than how many helpful resources you have. In the original study, BRS scores were related in the opposite direction to anxiety, depression and physical symptoms, even after accounting for other factors.
Try a self-assessment without signing inResilience (BRS)How you recover after setbacks. Answer the app’s questionnaire and see your result right away.Start the check →Higher scores mean greater resilience. The result screen shows a six-question sum, with 17 or less as lower, 18–25 as moderate and 26 or more as higher. The original scale reports a mean score, so do not compare these numbers directly with other sources. Your score can also come out lower when a lot of pressure has piled up at once.
How can I build resilience?
Joyce et al. (2018) analyzed 11 randomized controlled trials of programs designed to build resilience. Overall the programs had a moderate effect, and those based on cognitive behavioral therapy, on mindfulness and on a mix of the two were all effective. The five steps below bring those practices into everyday life.
- Recall a past recovery — think of one hard time that eventually passed, and write down three things that helped (a person, a habit, a way of thinking). Mark the ones you could still use now.
- Question the thought once — when ‘it is all over now’ comes up, write down whether it is a fact or how you feel right now. Our guide to cognitive distortions describes thinking patterns like this.
- Come back to this moment — when your mind swings between the past and worries about the future, rest your attention briefly on your breath and the soles of your feet. A few minutes a day is enough.
- Reach out to one person — even a short conversation tends to speed up recovery more than holding on alone. Asking for help is part of resilience too.
- Change how you talk to yourself — telling yourself ‘why can’t I do better’ when you are down slows recovery. Say what you would say to a friend: ‘that was really hard.’ Self-compassion practice can help.
If you are so drained that rest does not help, the built-up load may need attention before resilience does. Our guides to burnout signs and stress relief may also help.
When to talk with a professional
If weeks after something hard your sleep, eating and daily routine have not come back, if the event keeps returning to your mind and distressing you, or if you keep feeling like doing nothing at all, consider speaking with a mental health professional or seeing a doctor. Finding a way back together with someone is also a way of building resilience.
You can also start by sorting through what you have been through and looking for a way back, one step at a time in a conversation.
Frequently asked questions
- Does low resilience mean I am mentally weak?
- No. Resilience changes with your situation and your supports. When pressure piles up at once, recovery feels slower for anyone. Take the test again once you have some breathing room and compare.
- If my resilience score is high, do I feel less stress?
- Not necessarily. It is closer to meaning that, even under the same stress, you return to your usual self more quickly. A stress measure shows better how much stress you are under right now.
- Can adults still build resilience?
- Yes. Resilience is not a fixed trait score; it shifts with your current supports and practice. Keep small practices going steadily, such as examining your thoughts and mindfulness.
- Is resilience the same as self-esteem?
- They are different ideas. Self-esteem is how much you value yourself, and resilience is the strength to get back up after hard times. Still, the habit of treating yourself kindly often helps both.
Sources
- Smith et al. (2008), The brief resilience scale: Assessing the ability to bounce back, International Journal of Behavioral Medicine
- Masten (2001), Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development, American Psychologist
- Joyce et al. (2018), Road to resilience: a systematic review and meta-analysis of resilience training programmes and interventions, BMJ Open
This guide shares mental wellness information. If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services where you are. Support and contact information.