Anger issues self-check: anger control methods that work better than holding it in

CareOps editorial team · October 20, 2026 · 7 min read

Mental wellness information and service guidance published by CareOps.

Someone cuts you off in traffic and you shout. Your child ignores you once more and your voice rises before you know it. When the anger passes, you are left asking why you did it again. Anger is a natural emotion that tries to protect you, but when it comes too often and too strongly, it wears down your relationships and you. Here is how to get a sense of where your anger is now and find a third way between holding it in and letting it explode.

Is ‘anger issues’ a formal diagnosis? #

‘Anger issues’ is an everyday way to describe having trouble managing anger. Psychiatric diagnostic systems do not use that name; the closest diagnosis is intermittent explosive disorder. It describes repeated impulsive outbursts that are far out of proportion to the situation, such as shouting, breaking things or physical fights, that cause distress or disrupt daily life.

In a survey of 9,282 adults in the United States, Kessler et al. (2006) found that 7.3% met criteria for intermittent explosive disorder at some point in their lives, more common than many assume. It typically began around age 14, yet only 28.8% had ever received help for their anger. Put another way, many people struggle with frequent anger without knowing there are ways to work with it. Getting angry often does not automatically mean a disorder; most anger is an emotion that can be managed with practice.

What are the signs that anger is becoming a problem? #

• Small things trigger big anger — the anger is so much bigger than the situation that it surprises you.
• It lasts a long time — the anger does not settle for hours, sometimes days.
• Your words or actions turn harsh — you shout, slam doors or say hurtful things.
• Regret follows — the same ‘I did it again’ self-blame keeps repeating.
• People around you tread carefully — family or coworkers watch your mood and hold back what they say.
• Your body reacts first — your face gets hot, your heart races and your fists or jaw tighten.

How can I self-check for anger issues? #

A short anger self-check is the DAR-5 (Dimensions of Anger Reactions, five items). It asks, over the past four weeks, how often you felt angry, how strong it was, how long it lasted, whether it led you to act aggressively and whether it got in the way of relationships. Forbes et al. (2014) studied the scale with 486 college students, and a score of 12 worked as a screening point separating people with high and low anger.

Is holding anger in the answer? #

Two options usually come to mind: hold it in, or let it all out. Letting it out does not work the way people expect. In a meta-analysis of 154 studies and more than 10,000 participants, Kjærvik and Bushman (2024) found that activities that calm the body, such as slow breathing, mindfulness and meditation, clearly reduced anger and aggression. Activities that vent anger or rev the body up, such as hitting a punching bag, were ineffective overall.

That does not mean simply bottling it up either. Underneath anger there is usually something important, like feeling disrespected or treated unfairly. If that feeling is only pushed down, it tends to burst out bigger next time. The third way is to calm your body first, then put the feeling underneath the anger into words.

Where do I start with anger management? #

Reviewing meta-analyses of psychological approaches to anger, Lee and DiGiuseppe (2018) found that cognitive behavioral approaches are the most widely used, and that anger interventions consistently showed at least moderate effects in both general and clinical groups. The five steps below turn that approach into everyday practice.

1. Notice the body signals first — a hot face and tension in your shoulders and jaw are the first signs of anger. The earlier you notice them, the easier anger is to manage.
2. Step away for a moment — say when you will be back, such as ‘let us take ten minutes and talk again’, and leave the room. It is a pause that protects the conversation, not avoidance.
3. Breathe out slowly — make each out-breath longer than the in-breath for several rounds. It is one of the quickest ways to lower your body’s arousal.
4. Look at the thought under the anger — check whether a thought that fuels anger, like ‘they ignored me on purpose’, is a fact or a guess. Our guide to cognitive distortions describes these thinking patterns.
5. Say it once you are calm — instead of ‘why do you always do this?’, try ‘when this happens I feel ignored, and it hurts’, naming your feeling and what you need. Keeping an emotion diary about angry moments also helps you spot repeating patterns.

If you want to make sense of what happened once the anger has passed, you can start by walking back through that moment step by step in a conversation.

This guide shares mental wellness information. If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services where you are. Support and contact information.