Relative deprivation: meaning, theory and coping

CareOps editorial team · October 28, 2026 · 10 min read

Mental wellness information and service guidance published by CareOps.

Payday felt fine until a coworker mentioned their salary, and suddenly your month looked small. Scrolling past a friend's trip or someone's new apartment, you may feel a sting of “Am I the only one standing still?” Your situation hasn't changed, yet you feel poorer. This is called **relative deprivation**. Here is what it means, where the idea came from, everyday examples, what research says and how to work with it.

Relative deprivation meaning: what kind of feeling is it? #

Deprivation means having something taken away or going without. Relative deprivation is different from absolute deprivation such as hunger or homelessness: nothing has actually been taken from you, but compared with others, it feels as if your fair share has been. It appears and fades depending on whom you compare yourself with and against what standard.

That is why it can show up whatever your income. A raise can feel hollow next to a colleague who got a bigger one, and moving to a wealthier neighborhood can leave you feeling smaller than before. The core is not simply having less but the resentment of “I should have had that too.”

The definition and theory: where does the idea come from? #

The idea was first used systematically in The American Soldier (1949), a study of US soldiers in World War II led by sociologist Samuel Stouffer. Asked whether a soldier with ability had a good chance of promotion, Air Corps members, who were actually more likely to be promoted, answered more pessimistically than military police, whose promotions were slower. Stouffer explained this by their higher expectations: the promotions they actually got fell short of what they had hoped for. Satisfaction depended less on what they had than on what they expected and whom they compared themselves with.

British sociologist Runciman (1966) later distinguished egoistic deprivation, feeling worse off than others in your own group, from fraternalistic deprivation, feeling that your group is worse off than other groups. Psychology studies it alongside social comparison. According to Festinger's (1954) social comparison theory, people want to evaluate their abilities and opinions, and when there is no objective standard they compare themselves with others. Relative deprivation is the feeling that arises when that comparison ends in “I've been unfairly shortchanged.”

A meta-analysis of 210 studies with 186,073 respondents (Smith et al., 2012) defined relative deprivation as “the judgment that one is worse off compared to some standard accompanied by feelings of anger and resentment.” It found that studies measuring the sense of unfairness, not just the judgment of having less, showed stronger links between relative deprivation and outcomes such as physical and mental health and behavior. In other words, the resentment underneath weighs on us more than the comparison alone.

Relative deprivation examples: pay, friends' social media and housing #

Relative deprivation usually comes from small everyday moments rather than big events. If your heart sank in moments like these, the feeling may be familiar.

• Pay and bonuses: your salary stayed the same, then you heard a colleague who started the same year got a bigger raise.
• Friends' social media: after scrolling through a friend's trips, luxury purchases or wedding news, your own day feels especially flat.
• Housing and wealth: a friend who started out like you buys a home, or you hear about rising house prices and think, “I'm the only one falling behind.”
• Comparison within the family: you feel a sibling gets more help from your parents.
• Effort and outcome: you worked hard, yet someone who seemed to try less landed a better position.

What these moments share is that your circumstances didn't actually get worse; what you compared against changed. And, as in the last two, something genuinely unfair may be involved. In that case, don't dismiss the resentment as oversensitivity; look at whether it is something that can actually be addressed.

How is it different from envy and inferiority feelings? #

These three often come up together and are hard to separate cleanly. Below is a rough guide to what sits at the center of each.

Relative deprivation tends to point outward, at an unfair situation, while inferiority feelings point inward, at who you are. But resentment that lasts can turn into “it's because I'm not good enough.” If that is the bigger part, read inferiority feelings. If wanting what others have is stronger, see jealousy.

Relative deprivation and social media: what research says #

Social media shows an endless stream of other people's best moments, which makes upward comparison, comparing yourself with people who seem better off, very easy. A study combining a lab experiment and daily experience sampling (Verduyn et al., 2015) found that passively browsing Facebook, without posting or interacting, led to declines in mood over time, and the pathway was increased envy. Time spent just scrolling through other people's updates can feed feelings close to relative deprivation.

Cutting back can make a difference. In an experiment with 143 university students (Hunt et al., 2018), the group that limited each social media platform to 10 minutes a day for three weeks reported less loneliness and depression. The group that only tracked their use also reported less anxiety and less fear of missing out. If it is hard to put social media down, start with our guide to smartphone overuse.

Is there an opposite of relative deprivation? #

There is no standard dictionary antonym. The closest idea in psychology is downward comparison. Wills (1981) used this term for the process of boosting your own sense of well-being by comparing yourself with someone less fortunate, and noted that it tends to be triggered by negative feelings. Since that comfort depends on someone else's hardship, it is better understood as a reminder of how relative comparison is than as a long-term way to feel better.

How to cope with relative deprivation: five practices #

1. Notice when a comparison starts: when your heart sinks, ask, “Whom am I comparing myself with, and on what?” Writing one line about what triggered it creates some distance from the feeling.
2. Separate what you saw from the conclusion you drew: “My colleague got a raise” is what you saw; “My life is falling behind” is the conclusion you added. Check whether that conclusion is true and whether there is another way to see it.
3. Look at what the resentment points to: if something is genuinely unfair, look for a way to address it, such as negotiating pay, adjusting roles or talking with family. If it can't be changed, practice acknowledging that.
4. Come back to your own standards and values: use “What kind of life do I want?” as the yardstick instead of someone else's salary or home. Comparing with yourself last month, or writing down three things you already have today, can help too.
5. Change how you use your feed: cut down on passive scrolling and mute accounts that leave you feeling worse every time. Setting a daily limit for social media also helps.

The second practice puts examining thoughts, as in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), into everyday words, and the fourth uses values as a guide, as in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). For how small practices like a gratitude journal relate to life satisfaction, see life satisfaction.

How satisfied are you with your life lately? A life satisfaction check #

When relative deprivation comes up often, it is easy to rate your whole life low. The CareOps life satisfaction check (SWLS) is a five-item scale created by Diener et al. (1985) that looks narrowly at overall life satisfaction rather than mood. You can take it right away, with no login.

When relative deprivation turns into depression #

The deflated feeling after a comparison usually fades with time. But if every comparison ends in “I'm never going to make it,” your mood can stay low for a long time. If the signs below last more than two weeks, look at depression rather than explaining it all as relative deprivation. Our guide to early signs of depression has more detail.

• You have little interest even in things you used to enjoy.
• Your sleep or appetite has changed a lot.
• You have no energy for anything and keep blaming yourself.
• You avoid seeing people or even looking at social media.

If you want to work through comparison step by step #

Relative deprivation can ease a great deal once you change what and whom you compare against. CareOps Maeumi is an AI counseling app that runs sessions with approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), helps you look at the moment a comparison started and the resentment and wishes underneath it, and remembers past sessions so the next one picks up where you left off. Get the app

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