Adult separation anxiety: symptoms, causes and treatment
CareOps editorial team · · 9 min read
Mental wellness information and service guidance published by CareOps.
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Read our full editorial standards →When a family member is late and hasn't texted, your mind jumps to an accident, and you can't fall asleep until your partner confirms they arrived safely on a work trip. Separation anxiety is usually talked about in children, but adults can have it too. Here is what adult separation anxiety is, how it differs from anxiety in dating and what you can try.
At a glance
- Adult separation anxiety is excessive fear when you are, or expect to be, apart from someone close, often with constant worry that they will be harmed. Since DSM-5, it can be diagnosed even when it first starts in adulthood.
- Anxious attachment is a relationship tendency to worry that a partner cares less. Adult separation anxiety is an anxiety disorder centered on separation itself and the other person's safety, and it can involve family as well as partners.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is well studied for anxiety disorders, but treatment research focused on adult separation anxiety is still limited. Day to day, you can start by gradually lengthening time apart and noticing worst-case thoughts.
What is adult separation anxiety? Can adults have it?
Separation anxiety disorder was long seen as a childhood problem. The DSM-IV allowed the diagnosis in adults only if it began before age 18. A literature review found that separation anxiety in adults is common, often occurs with other anxiety or depression, disrupts daily life and in many cases first begins in adulthood (Bögels and colleagues, 2013). The DSM-5 therefore moved separation anxiety disorder into the anxiety disorders group and dropped the requirement that it start in childhood (Baldwin and colleagues, 2016).
In a nationally representative US survey (Shear and colleagues, 2006), an estimated 6.6% of adults had met criteria for adult separation anxiety at some point in their lives, and 77.5% of those cases first began in adulthood. These are estimates from structured interviews, so they may differ from clinical diagnoses. Still, they make it clear that adults struggling with this is not unusual.
What are the symptoms of adult separation anxiety?
The DSM-5 lists eight criterion symptoms for separation anxiety. Put into everyday words, research papers describe them roughly as follows. Each one can happen to anyone now and then; the concern is when several last a long time and disrupt daily life.
- Distress before you even separate: you feel excessive anxiety when you expect to be apart from family or a partner, or when you are apart.
- Worry that they will be harmed: while apart, thoughts that the person will have an accident, fall ill or come to harm keep returning.
- Needing to know where they are: you want to know their whereabouts and only feel settled once you reach them.
- Trouble sleeping apart: sleeping away from home or falling asleep without someone close nearby is hard.
- Recurring dreams about separation: nightmares about being separated or losing someone keep coming back.
Diagnosis is made in psychiatric care. Following DSM-5 guidance, research uses symptoms lasting 6 months or more in adults, with clear distress or impact on work and relationships (Pini and colleagues, 2026). The same study notes that adults, unlike children, may not put their fears into words, which makes it harder to spot, and that leaning heavily on a partner or someone close can strain the relationship over time.
How is it different from relationship anxiety and anxious attachment?
People often call the anxiety of waiting for a partner's reply “separation anxiety.” The two can look alike, but they are different ideas. The table below is this article's summary of the difference, based on the research.
| Anxious attachment | Adult separation anxiety | |
|---|---|---|
| What it is | A tendency in close relationships, a matter of degree | An anxiety disorder with diagnostic criteria |
| Core worry | That the other person cares less or will leave | Separation itself, and that they will be harmed |
| Who it involves | Mostly a partner or someone close | Family, children, partners and others close to you |
The two can also appear together. If you keep checking how a partner feels, see anxious attachment; if waiting for a reply feels especially hard, read anxiety while waiting for a reply; and if the longing to be cared for is strong, see craving affection.
What causes adult separation anxiety?
The causes are not yet clearly understood. Research on risk factors has mostly looked at separation anxiety in children; it tends to run in families, but not in a way that is specific to separation anxiety (Bögels and colleagues, 2013). In a preliminary study of 106 outpatients (Gesi and colleagues, 2025), having gone through hard events involving someone close, such as their accident, illness or death, was linked to separation anxiety that began in adulthood. Because it is a small, preliminary result, it cannot be taken as a cause.
Childhood separation anxiety doesn't necessarily continue into adulthood either. In the US survey above, about one-third (36.1%) of people with childhood separation anxiety still had it as adults.
How is adult separation anxiety treated?
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is widely studied for anxiety disorders in general. In a meta-analysis of 41 placebo-controlled randomized trials (Carpenter and colleagues, 2018), CBT had a moderate effect on the symptoms of anxiety-related disorders. That analysis did not include separation anxiety disorder, though, and experts note that treatment research focused on adult separation anxiety is still limited and more is needed (Manicavasagar and colleagues, 2010). In the US survey above, most adults with separation anxiety had not received treatment for it.
Whether to use medication, and which kind and how much, is decided with a doctor in psychiatric care. For anxiety disorder types and treatment in general, see anxiety disorder symptoms and types.
Adult separation anxiety: what you can try on your own
These are not a replacement for treatment, but everyday practices that can make the anxiety disrupt your life a little less. The aim is not to erase the anxiety but to gradually widen how much you can live with it.
- Start small and lengthen time apart: rather than forcing yourself through a long trip at once, spend a short, manageable time apart and gradually extend it. It is practice in feeling the anxiety rise and then ease as time passes.
- Notice worst-case thoughts: when a thought like “they haven't texted, so there must have been an accident” comes up, write it down before believing it, and add another explanation (“they're driving and can't check their phone”).
- Set an interval for checking in: instead of reaching out every time you feel anxious, wait until a time you chose in advance. Picking one thing to do while you wait helps.
- Ease the tension in your body first: when anxiety rises into your body, breathe out slowly and fully to settle your body first.
Ways to settle your body are covered in more detail in how to cope with anxiety. The first and third practices put CBT's idea of gradually facing avoided situations into everyday terms, and the second borrows the practice of noticing and questioning thoughts.
Is there an adult separation anxiety test?
Researchers measure symptom severity with tools such as the Adult Separation Anxiety Questionnaire (ASA-27). CareOps does not offer that separation anxiety test. Instead, you can take the GAD-7, which looks at how anxious you have felt over the past two weeks. The GAD-7 is a screening tool built to gauge generalized anxiety disorder, so it is not a separation anxiety test, and a high score does not mean you have an anxiety disorder. If you're curious about anxiety in relationships, there is also an attachment style check.
Try a self-assessment without signing inAnxiety (GAD-7)How much anxiety and worry occupy your day. Answer the app’s questionnaire and see your result right away.Start the check →When to talk to a professional
If anxiety about separation is making it hard to go to work, go out or sleep, if checking in has grown to the point of straining your relationships, or if this has gone on for months, don't try to push through alone. Talk with a mental health professional.
If time apart is hard to get through on your own
In the moment anxiety rises, it's hard to remember any practice. CareOps Maeumi is an AI counseling app that runs sessions with approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and remembers past sessions so the next one picks up where you left off. You can look at worst-case thoughts together and keep practicing time apart in small steps. Get the app
Frequently asked questions
- Is adult separation anxiety an official diagnosis?
- Yes. Since DSM-5, separation anxiety disorder has been part of the anxiety disorders group, and the requirement that it start in childhood was removed, so it can be diagnosed even when it first begins in adulthood. Diagnosis is made in psychiatric care.
- Is feeling anxious when apart from a partner separation anxiety?
- Not necessarily. Worrying that a partner cares less is closer to anxious attachment, while adult separation anxiety is long-lasting anxiety about separation itself and the other person's safety that disrupts daily life. See anxious attachment for more on the difference.
- Where can I take an adult separation anxiety test?
- A research questionnaire for adult separation anxiety (ASA-27) exists, but CareOps does not offer it. On CareOps you can take the GAD-7, which looks at anxiety over the past two weeks and is not a separation anxiety test. For an accurate assessment, see a clinician.
- How is adult separation anxiety treated?
- CBT is widely studied for anxiety disorders in general, but treatment research focused on adult separation anxiety is still limited. Which treatment to pursue, and whether to use medication, is decided with a doctor in psychiatric care.
- Does childhood separation anxiety continue into adulthood?
- Not necessarily. In a US survey (Shear and colleagues, 2006), about one-third of people with childhood separation anxiety still had it as adults, and most adult cases actually began for the first time in adulthood.
Sources
- Bögels, Knappe & Clark (2013), Adult separation anxiety disorder in DSM-5, Clinical Psychology Review
- Baldwin et al. (2016), The separation of adult separation anxiety disorder, CNS Spectrums
- Shear et al. (2006), Prevalence and correlates of estimated DSM-IV child and adult separation anxiety disorder in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication, American Journal of Psychiatry
- Pini et al. (2026), Adult separation anxiety and insomnia symptoms in individuals with mood and anxiety disorders, Neuroscience Applied
- Gesi et al. (2025), Is adult-onset separation anxiety disorder a trauma-stress-related disorder? A preliminary report, CNS Spectrums
- Manicavasagar et al. (2010), Adult separation anxiety disorder: a disorder comes of age, Current Psychiatry Reports
- Carpenter et al. (2018), Cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety and related disorders: A meta-analysis of randomized placebo-controlled trials, Depression and Anxiety
- Spitzer et al. (2006), A Brief Measure for Assessing Generalized Anxiety Disorder: The GAD-7, Archives of Internal Medicine
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